Learning to live through love instead of fear.
Learning to live through love instead of fear is, as I have found….really frickin’ tricky. I know, I know…it’s supposed to be easy right? We love our family, our friends, our jobs…or do we? I know we are SUPPOSED to. But here is what I have found to be true…
No matter how much we love things or people (sometimes) we still are in an age where we are living a lot through fear. More people today have anxiety than ever before. Stress is very common, and self-doubt seems to be…well…normal.
I think it’s time to take a moment and realize that these things we feel on an average basis aren’t really living life through love. When you have an argument with someone or feel the need to stand your ground and respectfully disagree or prove your point - that is not love. When you judge that person on social media because they have what seems to be more then you - that is not love. When you look at someone and think about how wrongful their behavior is because it doesn’t match your own…that is not love.
I’ve got news for you. Those are all very fear-based actions. In fact, if you can apply any amount of judgement (whether internal or external) to any given situation - you are living through fear not love.
Recently I have found a few people in my life who have approached me in very judgmental ways. Whatever the reason may be, they were upset because things were not unfolding in a way that they saw as best and they didn’t feel good because of it. Not getting what you are expecting to achieve or feel can be upsetting, rightfully so. Naturally, the external circumstances (i.e. me) show up and are blamed.
Now, I am not saying I am free of this behavior. (I am still blaming the guy in my hallway blasting music disturbing my peaceful writing opportunity while my daughter still sleeps!) But the point of writing about this is because I recognize it as a fault in our current human way of thinking.
We are not meant to live through fear. Fear of being judged, of not getting things done, of not looking or acting a certain way, or even saying the right thing. Whatever happened to living our life the way we intend to because it makes us feel fulfilled inside?
Practicing letting go of our own internal fears first starts with recognizing them. Once we can see it for what it is, we can face it, and (hopefully) get over it. Ever hear that analogy of the man walking through a desert storm…the one where he packed all of his belongings up into a sling he carried over his shoulders. But it was SO big and SO heavy that it took over and doubled his weight as he traveled by foot. Soon, the man realized that his load was just too much to bear. So one by one he started going through his back, dumping things that no longer served him. This felt good to the man, for as his load lightened so did he. The circumstance of the bag took up SO much room that when the wind came, it almost knocked the man over. But as he started letting things go one by one his trip became more manageable. Finally, the man had in his bag just a loaf of bread and a canister of water to help nurture him until the end of his trip in the desert storm. The man had all he needed to survive - and no more baggage holding him down.
If we apply this to life it’s pretty common to see the negative loads we carry on our backs. Once we recognize what’s there and finally have the courage to toss what we are no longer learning from, our load to becomes lighter allowing us to move closer and closer to a life lived through love instead of fear.
So I leave you with this question…What is it that you can toss away from your baggage?